October 5: Today my life began! My parents do not know it yet. I am as small as a seed of an apple, but it is I already. And I am to be a girl. I shall have blond hair and azure eyes. Just about everything is settled even the fact that I shall love flowers.

October 19: I have grown a little. But I am still too small to do anything by myself. My mother does just about everything for me. And what is odd – she still doesn’t know she Is carrying me, here under her heart, and that she is helping me already – that she is feeding me with her own blood! She is so good. (Some say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is yet truly bread. My mother is and I am.)

October 23: My mouth is just beginning to open now. Just think in a year or so I shall be laughing and later talking. I just know my first word will be Mama.

October 25: My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life – without ever stopping to rest! And after many years it will tire. It will stop and then I shall die.

November 2: I am growing a bit every day. My arms and my legs are beginning to take shape. But 1 have to wait a long lime before those little arms will be able to gather flowers and embrace my father.

November 12: Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are. I shall be able to stroke my mother’s hair with them. And I shall take her hair into my mouth, she will probably say, “Oh, nasty.”

November 20: It wasn’t until today that the doctor told Mom that I am living here under her heart. Oh, how happy she must be. Are you happy. Mom?

November 25: My Mom and Dad are probably thinking of a name for me. But they don’t even know that I am a little girl. They are probably saying Andy – but I want to be called Kathy. I am getting big already.

December 10: My hair is growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny. I wonder what kind of hair Mom has?

December 13: I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When Mom brings me into this world, it will be full of sunshine and flowers, I have never seen a flower. But what I want more than anything else is to see my Mom. How do you look, Mom?

December 24: I wonder if Mom hears the whispering beat of my heart? Some children come into the world a little sick, and the delicate hands of the doctor perform miracles to bring their to health. But my heart is strong and healthy, it beats so evenly tup,tup,tup,tup. You’ll have a healthy daughter, Mom.

December 28: Today my mother killed me!